January 28, 2011

See There's This Little Island


in the North Sea that has been an independent country since around the 7th century and a long time ago they were attacked by Vikings and they were pretty defenseless until this one king called Ulf the Hermit (because he stayed in a room for almost his whole reign on account of he was so ugly and mean and never washed) decided right after one invasion had left to build a monster maze with twenty foot high walls that they overlaid the whole island with and the next time the Vikings attacked they got lost and starved and eventually they stopped invading because the people would always change where the walls were so nobody could map it but over the centuries they didn't need the maze any more and what with weathering and a couple world wars and nobody taking care of it it wore down to just a few remnants here and there around the island and nobody paid much attention to it until somebody realized that touching the old walls of the maze would cure certain illnesses but then humans being humans they abused it because when they weren't sick they could get high by touching the stones and so a kind of cult developed that the government which by 1980 had become a secret hidden entity wherein nobody even knew what the name of the leader was wanted to clamp down on so they started taking all the leftover walls down.


One night an old friend of a private detective wants to have a meeting at a tavern to talk about his particular case but because his body is literally falling apart (at one point a glass eye pops out of his head and lands in his martini right next to his olive) and as his nurse wheels him out all he can say is "find a way to stop this" but the detective has to find out what he was talking about so he gets on the case by using his Magic 8 Ball which tells him what leads to follow and what to look for and he winds up connecting the maze wall remnants with his friend's terrible affliction but as he gets deeper into the case he comes into contact with a dangerous group of fascists who want to overthrow the government nobody can find and restore the rightful place of the maze in the country's history and stop the destruction of it and they even have armbands with a maze outline that almost looks like a swastika.

And then there's the mountain made up of dead bodies where people are playing a great big game of King of the Hill by trying to get to the top after killing everybody else they can.

Not to mention the little people who live inside the cuckoo clock.

I wonder how it will turn out.

11 comments:

sybil law said...

I wonder, too! Now finish! :)

RW said...

I just started! The first one is out making the rounds! Geez!

B.E. Earl said...

I love nonsensical fairy tales like this. Reminds me of a writer I very much admire and respect.

sybil law said...

Patience is not my thang.
:)

Petunia said...

when do the zombies show up???

RW said...

Oh there WILL be zombies! Never you mind!

Dave2 said...

If only there was a place for you to publish your wonderful tales with tales of others who enjoy writing similar bits of history that may have been forgotten...

Petunia said...

Oh good, what a relief. I was worried there for a minute.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Hmmmm...this plot thickens...

Faiqa said...

Me, too. That cuckoo clock plot line has been brewing for some time, yes? I remember that you once told (wrote, whatever) me that you had that idea when you were a child, right? Someone did, anyway. If it wasn't you... wow, that's a hell of a coincidence.

RW said...

Faiqa - yes that was me. As of this second that is officially out of this story. But if you know anybody who can illustrate children's books, I'd still like to collaborate on that story with someone.