August 13, 2012


Well my wife and I went to see the Meryl Streep movie "Hope Springs." Not my kind of movie but I owed one for taking her to see Moneyball and, besides, I can watch Meryl do her work any time & not have a problem with it. My take on the flick? Spots - like the blowjob in the movie theater? - were really, no really, funny. Some segments were dead serious and required true actors at their craft. I got a kick out of the trills of nervous laughter coming from our suburban over-50 audience in places that... really?... was that funny or did it just hit home with you and the only thing you can do is giggle? So yeah, a pretty insightful flick with some very skilled players. If you're under 50, though, I'd pass. There are things that are geared for us oldsters that I'm afraid people under 50 just wouldn't be ready for. Not ready for because they're not going to admit that, why yes, these things could happen to me at some point. So unless you're in this age group go home and screw your brains out instead. That will be much more fun for you. But when you want to get to older people issues that are pretty universal, get this DVD. A revelation to me is that Tommy Lee Jones, a very good actor, looked kind of old and wrinkly to me in this movie, but my wife said - and Streep also mentioned in an interview - that he's still pretty hot to them. Go figure. At least I'm happy to report that the old white guy isn't the whole problem. It takes two to crank up bad marriage juju and I'm glad they explored that. Us old white guys are getting kind of tired of being the stupid TV Dad, the cranky stereotyped Grampa, and the problem husband who is the problem. Everybody had issues, and that was refreshing and gloriously grown-up to see. So kudos to that aspect of the flick.

I get very embarrassed when I look at things like my last blog post where I unleash the venom and just let it fly like that. It isn't healthy and I'm not even sure it isn't just me play-acting at shit. I've been trying for a long time to be well-reasoned and calm and judicious and fair. And I'm working on it, I really am. The thing is I still also do that even when not on the blog, like in real life and all. And that just is not cool, and I know it. But that's the kind of post that makes me want to delete the blog altogether.

It looks very likely that I'll be 60 years old in 14 months. How about that? No I don't feel it at all, nor do I believe that I think it either. I hope all of you who are not close to that age feel like I do when you get here. But next year we're thinking of a trip to wine country in California. And one of the things I'm thinking of is an open-air cockpit biplane ride - which has been on my "bucket list" since forever. I've always had a fascination with World War I aircraft and this would be as close as I'll get to it I guess. I mean, barring, you know, slipping through a heretofore undetected wormhole in the space-time continuum and ending up in Paris when it's 1915 and I'm like, you know, 20 years old and all.

Well I've been to 2 White Sox games this month and they won both. I'm going to see the Yankees on the 20th with a good friend of mine who is from the Bronx and grew up a couple blocks from Jerome Ave and saw DiMaggio play. Last time we went (his son sends him tickets to the Sox game when the Yankees are in town as a Father's Day gift, so I get to go free... see how that works?) the White Sox won something like 14-3 and he was as mad as a wet hen. I'm hoping for more moist fowl again in a couple weeks. Then on the Friday following I'm going YET AGAIN to see the Sox play Seattle. Nobody expected the Sox to be in this position, and I still have my doubts about how far they can go, but it's been a remarkable year for lots of reasons on the South Side. That's all a fan can ask for.

I've got one week of work left and them I'm on vacation for a week, during which I will work harder on my house projects than I do at work when working. Some vacation. But I'm kinda glad I can still do it.

And - hey - I've got a Farco'n MOUNTAIN of submissions to get to for Thrice #6. Everybody wants to be my baby...

Oh hey, look who is back...

August 06, 2012

Bullshit Calling

To the tune of ...

First Lite, then HEAVY.

Miller Lite Punch Top Can - Wow, how'z about that for fresh thinking and innovation? Aren't we lucky to be living in the modern era? Dude... anyone with any age on them remembers when there was a can, a two-ended can-opener (one end sharp for cans, one end rounded for bottles), and a mouth. This was before the "pop-top" can. There were no pull rings back in the day. You opened one part of the can with the pointed end of the opener, turned it around, and did the same on the opposite side of the top. Then you drank it. What's old is new I guess. And the beer inside, in this case Miller Lite, still sucks.

Sikhs and Fast Food - I guess conservatives are too busy eating at Chick Fellatio to notice how their rhetoric and general bullshit act as an enabler for trailer trash to go shooting innocent people just because they look different. Well, we don't want to alienate them too much, we need their votes in November, right guys?

Presidents As Mass Murderers - Lost in the feel good about our first black President, whom I was happy to vote for the first time around NOT for his policies but as a cultural necessity and signpost, we have now "normalized extra-judicial murder" and nobody cares. The facts aren't hidden, there isn't any conspiracy of silence, the facts are right there in front of us. We know the level of drone attacks and our government agencies admit the collateral damage as well as the "unavoidable loss of innocent life." It's in the news - we just don't give a shit. President Obama should be called up on war crimes but he won't. What the hell is wrong with us? Has anyone bothered to count the number of people in the Muslim world that this tactic is going to radicalize? This has now gone beyond the point of being a "solution" and is now becoming a root cause of continuance. Nice going Mr. President, thanks for the next two decades of de facto war you just gave us.

Catholic Bishops Join With Pat Robertson, Trailer Trash, and Libertarians - This, by the way, is the coalition that defeats President Obama in November, in case you wanted to know. I work in a print shop where 99.99% of the material we produce is Catholic church bulletins. You know, the happy, joyous, all-knowing infallible intransigence of the child molesting closet Queens that work for the bishop of Rome. The idea that they and their priestly minions are there to serve the poor and needy and those in need of solace and instruction can hereby be just tossed out. That's just a bullshit idea. I read on a weekly basis the vile venom that comes from the pens of these halfwits who masquerade as "religious authority," and can tell you from personal experience that there are some mean-spirited shit weavers in those ranks. Not everyone, of course, but I've read enough pastors who think that the sex-abuse scandals are all a product of "the media" (whatever the hell that is, really), that President Obama is at war with them, and that Catholics who do not tow the straight Catholic line are "Quislings" to know why this is the same culture that supported Franco against the Republicans in the Spanish Civil War of the 1930s. There's one particular pastor in Union, MO I can't wait to read every week. He is particularly vicious against anyone who opposes him - and says so right in between his calls for brotherly love. But - oh my - that's Rush Limbaugh country. Well hey he's got to protect his donation base, y'know?

I went to the ballgame this Sunday with my daughters. The White Sox won 4-2. I wish we didn't have to listen to "God Bless America" in the 7th inning at every game. It's a stupid idea with a dumb sentiment. I stand so as not to draw attention to the hypocrisy we run on. Upsets the patrons, you know.

Hi FBI, btw, how you doon?