Okay so here is that familiar place. I've been here before. I've finished the project and am ready to present it. I've gone through the lists of people I've made who handle this kind of material and am ready to address them. There's not many more touches I can think of right now, though I know I will think of some later. I actually have a title. I am actually finished.
And I don't like it.
I woke up this morning convinced that somewhere in the middle it took a wrong turn. That I should have gone another way with it. Then as I got ready to go off to work I thought, "No, going the other way would be a cliche." I kept telling myself - and always tell myself - let it take you where it wants to go. Don't force it. Let the story dictate what happens. Roll with it. And I did. And I'm sitting here thinking "nothing actually happens in this story."
Of course, I mean, yes obviously something happens. But is it interesting enough? Is it actually what I wanted to write? Is this what I write?
I remember all the influences this time. Hone it down. Get rid of the fluff. Keep it basic. "If it looks like writing, change it." Let the characters talk like actual people talk. It's written in first person; will the people looking at it *get* the language or are they going to mistakenly say "this guy's grammar SUCKS!"
Did I put too much of myself in here? Or not enough? I can't wait to stop thinking about it. I don't want to think about it any more. I want to start the next thing. I already have the opening (that will be changed seventeen times before I'm satisfied, just like THIS one).
I look at the manuscript and all I see are the warts. But I could fix the warts from now until I'm dead.
Forget it. Just send it. And move on to the next project.