October 06, 2010

RWban Dictionary

RELIGION: Where you take a good idea about how to get along with people and screw it up with your ego.

BLOG: Mental masturbation where you hope somebody catches you.

FACEBOOK: The internet portal you use to get to your games.

WAR: Where two or more Nations(qv) kill as many of the other guy's folks as possible, mess with each other's heads and bust up each other's shit for a while. Usually over a period of years. Lots of people lose family members, homes, jobs, and money. A portion of the younger generation is killed, brutalized, maimed for life or otherwise dicked, and then the sides finally all sit down and talk about it. Then everybody acts like it either never happened or they wait for a chance to get even and start the same shit all over again.

LIBERAL: A worldview that demands tolerance and charity from everybody else.

CONSERVATIVE: A worldview that masks fear, distrust and anger with grand ideals you would make other people die for.

NATION: It's like a gang. Everybody's got a neighborhood, their own songs, and colors. You don't mess with me, I don't mess with you. But if I see something you got that I want, if I have the muscle I just take it and up yours. There is a definable hierarchy of leadership and every section or clan has its officers and lieutenants. You follow the rules or you're out. Hola, essa.

LIBERTARIANISM: A studied philosophy with big words that intellectualizes crabby selfishness.

NAZI: Debate code for "I have no point."

ELECTION CAMPAIGN: Any gathering of countless thousands of people who take somebody else way too seriously.

AFGHANISTAN: An incomprehensibly remote, dusty, localized grouping of arid regions which together comprise an area that is the world's greatest exporter of frustration and humility ever since anyone can remember.

TEA PARTY: What little girls have with their imaginary friends**
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** okay I stole that one.

6 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

Afghanistan also exports a lot of heroin along with the frustration and humility. They don't want to be a one-trick pony.

Avitable said...

I think a true conservative is not nearly as bad as you paint it to be.

Gino said...

as a veteran of many Election Campaigns, and now reformed, i'll say you hit that one out of the park.

Faiqa said...

But calling someone a fascist means you have a point, right? Also, ignore Adam... I have it on very good authority that he once sent naked pictures of himself to Rush Limbaugh in order to get recommendation letters for college... it's true.

sybil law said...

Did you ever know that you're my hero?

Brian said...

I like to think of a conservative as someone who's forgotten how bad things used to be, and a liberal as someone who doesn't realize how much worse it could get.