October 29, 2012

Just Some Shit

1. There was a time when I thought someone who said "Without a doubt, the capitalist electoral system is a sham. It is a rigged system to ensure the domination of the tiny ruling class of Wall Street bankers, corporations and big-business owners over the vast majority of people in the United States-the working class" was a crank.

I have to say, though, and especially since the era of "Citizens United," "corporations are people my friend," and the efforts of some folks to try and limit access to the voting booths by trying to demand photo IDs, I think that statement couldn't be more true.

So here's Peta Lindsay. She's running for President on the PSL Ticket (Socialism and Liberation - yeah that'll work). And in protest to everything else I'd vote for her; seriously. Except she's only 27 and she's not on the ballot in Illinois. I know, right? Details details.

 But I would. Honest to God I would. If only there wasn't something else to vote for. My whole motivation now isn't to put the best person in office, it's to make conservative pinheads upset. I like seeing them unhappy and miserable. It's much more fun that way. I've enjoyed these past four years of ceaseless whining and tantrums and sour grapes I've heard and read from them. And I have really enjoyed trolling them. They badger and bully innocent little liberals at will, but when the tables are turned and they're given exactly what they've given they moan about "how can anybody have a serious discussion around here?" It's hilarious. Especially when the tactics they've used for four years are turned back on them, and they don't even see it.

Yet that's not exactly the idea behind democracy, is it? You're supposed to weigh the issues, look at the candidate's positions, and cast your ballot to reflect your notion of what you think best serves the life of your country. Yeah right. You can do that. I'm voting because the guy I'll be voting for pisses some jackasses off to no end.

But if making certain people angry and the fact that she wasn't on the ballot here in the first place didn't matter... I'd vote for Peta. God bless America.

2. So the blog has been pretty much the same crap lately hasn't it? I've even resorted to youtube music videos, something I swore off a long time ago - or thought I have - or should have. I'm either talking about the magazine (the next issue coming out around November 15) or doing political shit like up there and long gone are the days of memes and lists of general stupid shit that we all secretly love but say we don't. I don't read stats, but it's easy to see that regular posters have dropped off by a good number. I know that this is partly due to general issues - twitter is easier, the blogosphere seems like a relic already, and people have their own shit going on. But, from an editor's viewpoint, it's also because the fare here hasn't been all that scintillating anymore. Not like it was in some of the older blogs. I find myself going "so if this was your last post is that what you'd want to be the last thing people would see?" And of course I've also been "quitting technology" for two years now.

Funny how that never seems to actually happen.

3. Why yes, "shit" actually is my most commonly used invective in my actual conversation. I think it's more effective than "fuck" because "fuck" is kind of overused. "Shit." on the other hand, is a bit more esoteric. Also it's funnier. I mean when I'm under a machine trying to pull out a stuck bolt at work and it won't budge and you can hear me say, from the dust and grease below "shit piss fuck" that's kind of funny too. But without the "shit" part it's less funny. Try it yourself.

"Shit" is actually my favorite word to use, and the one you'll hear me using more than any of the other ones.

There's all that shit. This shit is loopy. The hell with that shit. I don't give a shit. We're going now, you got your shit? What's up with that shit?

The fact is you haven't been here in a while, but when you saw the word "shit" in your reader you clicked it. Didn't you? ANSWER ME.

4. The other thing is that most of the people who read here are on Facebook with me. But the thing is there are people I have as friends on Facebook who have no idea I have a blog, edit a magazine, or even had anything published in the distant past. So I'm kind of stifled on Facebook. I say shit, but I don't say all my shit. You see?

There are people in my family who think I'm just "that guy." An uncle. A cousin. A brother. They don't know about my saga with Scientology or anything. Especially to most family members, if I said half the shit on Facebook that I say here I don't know what they'd think. Sometimes I sneak shit in, but it's tame compared to here.

In fact at a recent family get-together I had the experience of one family member, just off the cuff, ask a question about something she saw of mine on Facebook and actually had the gumption to inquire about it. Just a little while later, we were talking, and I told her at one point. "Well there ya go. Outside of my wife and daughters, you now know me better than anybody else in this room."

5. We don't know each other because we don't ask. And we don't ask because we don't want to get into people's shit and look like we're trying to burn their house down or something.

But you could ask me anything. obrtre - at - gmail

See if it don't.

EDITED TO ADD: Oh I almost forgot. I think I'm growing a beard. I don't know for sure yet, but we'll see. For Halloween this year I went to the party as a contestant on Top Chef - red bandana, clogs, spiky hair, and I went unshaven for a week to add to the effect. Then I walked around saying how I could have cooked that better.

But anyway the party was Saturday and I still haven't shaved. Well I did shave this morning but just my neck. Anyway we'll see what happens. I like it and I don't. I dunno. I've never had one.


B.E. Earl said...

It's been around 20 years now, and I haven't gone without some kind of facial hair for more than a month or so at various times. I'm just a beard dude, I guess. Even now when it's all grey and scraggly.

RW said...

Yeah the grey part I got, but the scraggly turns me away from the idea. I'm enough of a sight to add a scraggly beard to the mess.

Dave2 said...

Oh yes. I am absolutely conditioned to click through on any blog post with the word "shit" in the title. But, make of it what you will, because I also click through any time "taco" is in the title.

I have no idea what my response would be if someone were to ever use the phrase "shit taco" in a blog post title...

Brian said...

Did you see this?


I think I might have to take a break from the internet for a bit after next Tuesday. If Rmoney wins, it's going to be insufferable. And if he loses, I will.

red bandana, clogs, spiky hair... unshaven for a week

That's a thing? Cuz...that's pretty much just what I look like.
(Well, not so much the bandana, though I do tend to cover up my hair when I'm cooking...)

RW said...

ooo. "Shit taco." Just no, dave.

Brian, I also wore a chef's jacket and pants. But otherwise, yeah it's a thing. I read your link. And if she were on our ballot - she'd have a shot at my vote.

Gino said...

I love the magic of shit myself.

... how i could proclaim 'shit is fucked up' and nobody needs to ask what.

SK Waller said...

I've kind of been on a "fuck" moratorium myself, but I've been saying "feck" because it's funny when they say it in Ireland. Oklahoma, however, not so much. Maybe I'll join you in the "shit".

RW said...

Gino - the magic of shit IS the shit!

SK - Yeah "fuck" is, I think, overused already and the shock value is losing its edge. Imagine shit like dat.

flask said...


i'm serious.

people with brains start making protest votes to make a point and the only point they'll end up making is that everyone should take three steps backward and o, god, it CAN actually get worse.

RW said...

ok ok, don't worry flask. She's not on the ballot here. lol....

sligo said...

Man, I go to Maui for a week and look at the shit that happens. As to your unbreakable shitty habit of using too much "shit", it's okay, because as I occasionally say, Some shit you can't shake.

RW said...

Nothing to shake a shit at I guess.

sybil law said...

Without pictures of this new found grizzly look for me to judge, I'm calling bullSHIT.