September 01, 2011

The Old School Song

Just three weeks from now and the reunion for the class of 1971 will be over. And it couldn't come fast enough for me as one of the organizers.

In the first place it says something very telling about the dysfunction of a certain group of people when the dope-smoking sociopath of the group ends up holding the money for the party, don't you think?

But now, thanks to the miracle of Facebook, especially, I have confirmed what I thought I knew 40 years ago - that most of my classmates are complete %^^(@#$%.

Let me start out by saying I've never had to sit in front of more vile, hateful, obtuse, adolescent caveman bullshit than I have watching my classmates post their "feelings and opinions" on social media.

In response to the waves of shit I have to read before shutting their posts off completely let me just say,

1. No, people who apply for welfare shouldn't have to take a drug test just because you had to take one to get a job. The correct answer is NO ONE should be required to take a drug test for these things.

2. There are no tax dollars going to a mosque about to be built on the ground where the Twin Towers once stood. And no, the imam trying to build the mosque in lower Manhattan isn't part of al Qaida, he's actually been an adviser to President Bush.

3. I am not aware that anyone is actively trying to take "God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance, at least not as actively as those who put "God" in it in the first place; seeing as how the original version didn't have it.

4. And while we're on the subject I don't understand why people think it's being phased out of schools. I had no idea the Pledge was in such danger until I started inviting my high school classmates to be my friends on Facebook.

5. His name is Barack Obama. Sometimes he's known as President Obama. His name is not Barrack YoMomma, Barack Ubangi, or Barack Obangi. And I must say I find it just a little annoying to think of people pushing 60 who still go all a-titter about these kind of gags.

6. When someone says "she pricked her finger on the spinning wheel" they're saying something from a children's story, they're not talking about somebody's dick.

7. No, President Reagan never had a balanced budget. That didn't happen until President Clinton, and a lot of that was Newt Gingrich's doing - who you don't like because he isn't Sarah Palin. Hello?

8. No, you can't possibly be a conservative Christian and a devotee of Ayn Rand at the same time because according to libertarian objectivism existence takes primacy over consciousness and therefore according to Ayn THERE CAN BE NO GOD. Doofus.


What do you see me as in high school? I mean what do you think I must have been like? You pause here and guess for a second. Then I'm going to tell you and then you tell me how close you came. Okay?

When I was in high school we published "underground" newspapers. We infiltrated the dean's office and "liberated" a locker in which we kept dope, tickets, stuff we didn't want out parents to see, and passed messages back and forth. This was the office of what was known as "Movement Staff," and as far as the school knew that locker was assigned and everything was copesetic. We took acid and went to class. Every other day. We were for civil rights, against Viet Nam, and were quite certain that the general stasis of suburban life was something that would rot your mind, rot your liver, rot your kidney, cucaracha. We ran a hippie for Homecoming Queen and won. We ran Mickey Mouse as a write-in candidate in the student council election (and won).

We were a very small percentage of our school. And none of these people are showing up to the reunion, but me. And I have to sit here looking at pleas to sign the petition to build a wall across the Rio Grande, allow Creationism to be taught in public schools, and stop paying teachers and firemen so much damn money.

I was on the phone with sligo - an occasional poster here and fellow graduate of that year - and he said he didn't realize so many of our classmates were jerks. I wanted to say - or perhaps I did say (I've killed too many brain cells) that I tried to tell him that 40 years ago but nobody was listening.

I'm going to put ten bucks in an envelope and send it to Fred this weekend.

Now that I am facing the results of the present efforts, I seriously need to reconnect with my past. No not high school classmates, the other one.


B.E. Earl said...

I don't need to create a Facebook account to confirm that most of my high school classmates are/were assholes. It's something I remember very well.

My 30-year reunion is happening in 3 years. I won't be going.

PS - Suggested by one of our teachers, who we thought was cool at the time, we had an unofficial school zine for those of us who weren't into the official newsletter. It was called "The Anarchist". Wasn't real popular with the rest of the staff there at school.

PPS - That teacher later ran for local office and won. He, of course, then had to resign amid a sex scandal. He was banging one of his young aides. He later left his wife for this young lady. His wife was dealing with cancer treatments at the time. Yeah...

sligo said...

i'm thinking i should read this out loud at the reunion, right after the opening prayer.

crimminy, it's a good thing we have each other.

Gino said...

yep, and i've avoided avery attempt others have made to 'reunion' me, and deleted an assload of FB invites from former classmates.

but some folks have to learn shit on their own...

Not a Granny said...

I attended my 30 year reunion in 2009, it reminded me of why I moved away immediately after high school. It also encouraged me not to move back.

sybil law said...

Most of my classmates weren't necessarily assholes - just stupid and highly annoying.
Anyway, this only confirms what I've known all along - you and I totally would've been friends in school.
I'm mailing Fred, too.

Brian said...

I'm actually in touch on a somewhat regular basis with exactly one person from my class.

There are a few dozen that I am "friends" with FB. About half of them are hidden from my feed.

And I haven't (and won't) mention on FB that I will be in my home town next week.