Didn't Feel Like Making The Bullets Though

This was always one of those strange, enigmatic paintings that make you look twice. Ferdinand Hodler's Night from 1890. It's just a little disturbing unless you don't really look at it. Um... what?? Doesn't look like the dude is too happy with it.

Yes and after last night's list I'm sure you see by now that I am attracted to things that are just a little bit off. Oh well... "I cannot fiddle, but I can make a great state of a small city."

Since I'm up most of the night now I just came in from setting out the garbage for the service in the morning. I got some kind of strange little joy rumbling out the garbage can at 1:30 in the morning - the shank of my day - while everybody on the street is asleep.

Got some news today that's kind of interesting. I'm going to have to have surgery on both my eyes to remove cataracts that have decided to hitch a ride. Both eyes. I guess they're pretty bad and when I told the family I got a lecture about how I don't take care of myself. Things don't change much. Anyway these operations are nothing anymore. I get to have a happy pill and when I'm done I won't have to wear glasses anymore, I'm told. And I'm not sure how I feel about that because I've worn glasses since the third grade. I can't even tell you what I look like without glasses. I'm not even sure I WANT to be without glasses. I'll keep you posted. I don't know when this is all going down.

The lack of interest in Facebook and blogs on my part towards others and others towards me has entered another week. I'm not totally sure what to say at this point. I don't want to talk to angry white conservatives anymore. I don't really have an interest in trends. I had a really good idea the other day. Dave2 wrote this cool posting about how he came up with the artwork for the first issue of Thrice. So I was going to do this bit of me going through the stories with empty liquor bottles and mussed up hair and an original concept drawing of a bunch of squiggles as the goal and clocks saying it's late at night and me getting more and more frazzled. And in my head it was pretty funny but then the idea of taking pictures of myself in various conditions just seemed kind of stupid and I dropped it. So just imagine it, k?

It's all due to a lack of enthusiasm I think. Not that all enthusiasm is gone for everything. Far from that. I'm in the usual dead zone that you get into 20,000 words into a novel where you think it's all shit and you want to start on something else. That usually lasts a week or so and then after trying some detours you're back at the first thing you dropped again. Happens all the time. The last thing I did at about this point I just started over. And I've got four starts for this latest thing and hate them all. Just part of the process I think.

I'm ending a 5 day weekend. It was like a little vacation except for the fact that I had to have the stuffing in my ears I picked up in Florida evacuated from my poor impacted ear canals, the eye doctor's appointment and that news, plus the Easter thing (I'm just not a big fan of the traditional Easter fare I think. In fact I think it's becoming more and more inedible to me). Because it's a Catholic company I work for and the work is overnight we didn't go in on Thursday because that would have taken us into Good Friday and that's a no-no. So we worked Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday instead of Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday for 40 hours plus after 5 days off I'll get an extra 8 hours pay for the holiday. Pretty sweet. I hear Thanksgiving is a 6 day weekend around these parts. Well, after my operation at least I'll be able to see what the plant actually looks like!

Plus I am overcome with the idea that if I were the manager of the 1959 Washington Senators I bet I could have made a run for the pennant that year. But maybe that's a book idea. I can't tell any more.

That's it for now kiddies. Ended up once again needing a dump truck to unload my head. For a guy with nothing to say I sure blab a lot.