November 09, 2010

Cryptic Self-Centered Crap

Dear D, I've needed to apologize for many years but since everything is great for you it would take a big head on my part to think you were crushed and ruined. Especially since you aren't. Looks like things have really gone well for you and you are happy. So in the end things worked out. Doesn't excuse my being an asshole, but to apologize all this time later would serve me more than you so I'll just shut up and admire you quietly.

Dear Other D, yeah I'm putting up with you because we're supposed to be older and wiser and all that is long past but you know what? I really still think you're a prick because nobody who was that mean-hearted and cruel deserves a decent life afterward. I'm kinda actually glad you've had a failed marriage and health problems because you really kinda deserved it.

Dear J, Okay so I saw your picture on Facebook and sent you an invite because I'm a friend of your brother's but yeah you still look like a poser. You're looking swell these days where did your hair go?

Dear K, I want to thank you for telling me that I'd never be able to do it. That motivation is still central to everything I've ever tried to do and keeps my fire burning even all these many years after, mostly because I've met a dozen other people like you who've said the same thing to me you lousy little son of a bitch.

Dear S, I never ever liked the fact that you always took attendance for gatherings. I always thought that was pretty sick. And yeah I don't feel all that connected to you either and all your kids have grown up to be petty-minded little bigots so looks like you failed huh? There's two ends of a phone, btw.

Dear B, I know I screwed up and wasted a lot of time. You taught me well. Don't feel it was a waste. You still rate in my book and always will. Just stick around okay? This will end well. Watch.

Dear Other K, please stop posting to my Facebook comments. You're still an idiot.


B.E. Earl said...

I don't know nuthin' about no Facebook, but don't you have the ability to block the comments from Other K? Like an idiot blocker button or something?

RW said...

Not when they post to something you originate I don't think. Besides, it's actually comic relief.

flask said...

self-centered? sure.
crap? maybe.

interesting, though. slice o' life.

sybil law said...

I so know who the Facebook K is that you're referring to - yay! I'm on the inside! Hahaha (I just mean that I've seen the comments that I think you're talking about...)
Anyway, I loved this whole post.
You need to come up with a post that I don't like sometime. :)

Oh! Earl, you, Flask and I are all present.
(Really? Someone does that?!)

RW said...

flask - well, I can get kinda crabby sometimes I guess.

sybil - yes you do! But the attendance thing - yeah, if you only knew. And if you don't show up you get a mark by your name. Long story...

Dave2 said...

This post is borderline evil.

Just when I think I can't like you any more than I already do, you go and do something wonderful to prove me wrong.

RW said...

well jeez Dave, I wuv you too!


Brian said...

Celebrating Festivus a little early this year, are we?

(Seriously, though...if this isn't what blogs are good for, I don't know what is.)

RW said...

I did have a couple of nicie-nicies in there Brian but, yeah, you got me.

sligo said...

i love your anarchist, smoochy soul.


SK Waller said...

You had me at "Self-Centered Crap".